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It all begins with love

This last weekend was all about self care.

After what has felt like a crappy, unproductive week, after the 2 month anniversary of my mum’s passing hit me more than I expected, it has been a more than welcome end to the week.

Do I feel guilty for not working when I should be? Some, especially with customers who’ve been waiting longer than that 2 months for completion of their work.
Do I feel guilty for leaving my 3 year old crying today because I’ve gone out early for the 2nd morning? Again, some!

But both my children and my customers will benefit more in the long run from a healthy, happy, more centred and emotionally healed mum/me than they will if I keep running on empty and burn out. Seeing the bigger picture, the future for me and my family, is fundamental to this journey I am on πŸ’œ

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WAHM Life is THE Life

Ever wondered what being a work at home mum looks like? This is a perfect example: last night trying to eat some dinner quickly, get a new listing added to my nuMONDAY store, I was also editing photos to post on a Facebook post, before going Live on my page.

I got it ALL done though, eventually (I didn’t get the shop listing done till half 10 as I forgot to set it live at the time πŸ™ˆ). This week I’ve had the most successful week, planning, working and actually looking after me, family and the house too. Being a mum, working in the house where your kids are 24/7 is certainly challenging, but organisation is key to focus, that and sleep! This picture actually shows you exactly why sleep is important.

I’ve had a couple of late nights entirely my own fault not following my own rules 😊 which means a late start to the day and then I still need to get certain things done in certain time frames to either look after kids in a timely manner or because they’re the best times for my clients, customers and followers. If I’d have gone to bed earlier, got up earlier and therefore got some of these things done earlier, I’d not have been cramming 4 tasks into 1 hour 😱πŸ€ͺπŸ˜‚

girlsThat means ditching the distractions of unnecessary time on social media and watching excessive negative news and shows, taking time for self care (however you want the to be. For me it’s a shower, meditation and getting outside) and filling yourself with positive influences, reading, learning skills and meeting new people who are where you want to be in life or who have the same goals.

Being a work at home mum is challenging at times, but so fecking rewarding and fun (If it’s not fun find a different approach). Amazing things are happening and all the work is going to pay off big time!

Much love to you all

Davina

 

 

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Life changes

rainbow

rainbowMy Lord where do I start? What do I say?

Well I don’t want to write too much, it’s too hard, but I do need to share something here and post about my absence. I know I don’t have to, however it’s been big and writing something will help.

Four weeks ago my mum died. I have mentioned her a couple of times this year, the last time was to share how she’d been poorly and we were concerned. Well back in June cancer was discovered and within 4 weeks she had sadly passed away.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to explain all the feelings and emotions that go through you when your hear a doctor say those words. So much, so many. First of all given her dementia condition it made the prognosis poor, but they did decide to perform a minor operation in the hopes she would be able to eat again and regain some strength. At the end of June she was readmitted to hospital just over a week from the diagnosis and I dropped all things here in West Yorkshire and travelled by train with my 3 year old to go and stay with my dad.

His own condition of macular degeneration makes things hard from a different point of view. As the Teeny Girl and I stayed with him we helped him with small day to day tasks, but he showed great resilliance and ingenuity to carry out many things, and together we did things like make fruit bread in his bread machine and cooked hotpotΒ and savoury mince to my mum’s recipe.

That morning on the 9th July when he came into me at 5.30am to say my mum had gone was like nothing else. Torn between sadness, relief at her no longer suffering, concern for how my dad would cope, and knowing within a week I’d get to see my hubby and 2 bigger girls again, was a massive mix of emotions.

Of course in the middle of it all massive work based things happened. That’s the side of self employment. It was awesome to be able to just drop and go and be with my dad. To be able to take an amount of work with me and to be able to continue some of the admin jobs like updating shops and social media. I opened a shop on a brand new site just a week after joining my dad. I wanted to be so excited about it, but it was tinged with the fact I couldn’t just focus on that and learn the new platform. I continued working on my other new shop is opened in May on the nuMonday platform where for now all custom orders will be taken. Finally I also upgraded this site so that I will eventually be able to move some of my shop and sales over here for more complex items, especially adult wear.

I’d like to take one final minute to thank the wonderful customers that I received orders from to be made in time for winter, but without the pressure to make and ship while I was away from home. These orders enabled me to have the means to go at a moments notice to catch the train and rush to be with my dad during this hard time and visit my mum as much as I was able in her last weeks.

So, that’s it. One huge update on where I have been and what is going on and now after a few weeks spent regrouping and reassessing plans I’m back and ready to show you great things πŸ’œ

Much love and blessings

Davina πŸ’œ

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Dreaming the dream

It is Monday, and it is planning time for me.

As I am still in a relatively quite time with custom orders I am thinking of plans for the business as a whole, dreaming up ideas for the products which are most popular within my Etsy store, and thinking of ways to make more new items that will be well received. I have spent today writing a list of all the things I need to have set up and running this year, my mail list (for 2 businesses), my website for Indigosky2Knit, videos for knitting and crochet tutorials, ideas of how I want to move my aromatherapy and crystal business forward, the list gets longer (and that’s aside from all the home life ideas πŸ˜€ )

Did you know that imagination is key to moving your ideas forward? What you think of first is what becomes your reality. I have huge aspirations for what I am doing this year, and I have been working on visualising these to get them clear in mind. Then when the opportunities to help them move forward present themselves I am ready and jumping at the chance.

I used to have wild dreams as a kid for the future, but you know the usual thing of life getting in the way and you slowly forget how to dream. Well I am back to having massive ideas come up in my dreams for my business, my home, my family, even for the kinds of holidays we will have. I am so excited for the future, that even the occasional blip life throws at me doesn’t stop me being super excited for what is happening this year, or even right now, in this moment.

Enjoy and be thankful for all you have right now.

Much love to you all

Davina

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A hard week

Hey all you lovely people. This is a deep and personal piece from me today, but I feel I need to share to ease the inward emotions and turmoil. You know sometimes, despite all the best intentions and inner work and self care, life has some lessons to teach you that you’re not necessarily ready for.

Last week was one of those weeks. My super supportive and enduring mum is 81 years old next month. For some time now she’s been suffering the effects of dementia, Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. Over the last few weeks my dad, himself 82, has seen a deterioration in her, and last week he was concerned enough to start asking for more help.

Having to face their mortality this last week has been a lesson to me, a lesson in my own feelings towards life, and towards death. I am hoping that the medical assistance she’s been getting for a few days will alleviate some of the recent problems, infection can after all play games with the mind, especially of the elderly. However, I do have to accept that at 80 years old she is not going to live forever in this world and what does that mean for me?

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have mixed feelings about my mum. Society and association she had when I was a child, meant she did certain things she went on to regret, namely disciplining me physically and my being left as a toddler to cry myself to sleep at night. This has caused me feelings of resentment over the years. I’ve never denied her motherly love for me, or my daughterly love for her, she has just been super supportive of everything I’ve ever done, but I did feel hurt for those early years, I have to admit it.

However, a few months ago I was loaned a fabulous book You Can Heal Your Life by the late Louise Hay. In this she talked about forgiveness and how important it is to forgive those who hurt us. She talked about how children choose the parents they will born to, and how if you feel your parents did wrong by you, then you need to seek the lesson that taught you and feel forgiveness in your heart. Well, do you know what I did when I first read that? I shut the book! I shut the book, and thought ‘no, nope, I am not accepting that’. I didn’t even realise just how strong that resentment was until that moment. This idea that my soul had chosen to come and be hurt in ways that still affected me so deeply? No, I wasn’t accepting that.

So I closed the book and never planned on completing it, I didn’t think it was right for me. Over the course of the next few days those words and some other wise words I was listening too and ready in my self-help, self care journey, made me meditate deeply on those feelings that had come up, and do you know what I found? I found forgiveness! I realised that YES, I had chosen my mum to be my mum, because she needed the wild spirit that was in me to lighten and brighten her life. And me? I needed those harsh early lessons in my life to teach me a better way. So that when my children’s souls chose me as a mum, I would find a more gentle approach to my parenting.

In all of my childhood experiences my dad and one of my older sisters taught me about peace, patience and long suffering, and I found happiness and kindness. Now when I think of that elderly lady lying in her hospital bed, telling my dad over and over how much she loves him, I see the loving and caring mum who was in there being forced by society to be hard on a free spirited and strong willed little girl, and I am more determined than ever to show my girls that love, respect and compassion that is deep inside my mum.

Whatever you do and however you feel about your parents, remember without them you wouldn’t have life, and without life you wouldn’t be able to find the joy that is always there, just a breath or a thought away <3

Much love

Davina <3

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Women in business

I have loads to say about this, but it reveals ‘stuff’, personal sorta stuff and life sorta stuff, stuff we really should talk about, but that we often don’t. I’m just going to scratch a very small surface here, as it’s played a massive part in my life last week, and is the cause each month on me hitting a ‘go slow’, a go slow I have struggled sometimes to get out of. Then before I know it another month has past and I’ve got nowhere. This changes, here now, this month (well last month actually) this has changed!

Women have cycles

So yeah, shocking news here, we women have cycles! Every single month we have changes in our bodies and hormones that cause changes, changes in our state of mind, changes in our feelings and emotions, and yes dealing with these around running your own business is sometimes more than challenging. Staying motivated, taking rejection, not feeling like curling up under a duvet with a good book or Netflix can be one of the biggest challenges around. Add to this having children around if you do, a partner, a home to care for, and sometimes it’s hard if you have a bad day to just get up and carry on.

I’m lucky I guess that moods and pain are not major issues with me (although you’d have to check with my hubby and kids, they may have a different story on the mood side, I will admit to having much less patience than I usually do πŸ˜‰ ). However, it is still difficult to switch the mind off and to stay motivated, when seriously all you want to do, and really should be able to do, is chill, look after ourselves and take on that self care.

Working on itΒ 

So here’s one of the many things I’m working on, knowing my cycle well enough to plan around it, how much work I have, what and where I share my work, planning family meals around it, so I can eat well, but make it as easy as possible to do so.

Stay motivated, keep looking at the good things in life, help everyone to see that there are good things in their life, despite the trials and worries, and be happy!

Much love

Davina <3